Step 1: Fill a sink, tub, bucket or other jean-sized vessel with lukewarm water and a small amount of ultra-mild detergent—either Woolite Dark, which is designed to prevent the loss of dark colors, or Orvus Paste, which is designed to clean horses. Despite being an animal shampoo, Orvus is a mainstay of fabric conservationists, who appreciate its neutral pH, which makes it very gentle on clothing. Both are very concentrated, so start with just a couple of teaspoons.
Step 2: Take a deep breath, ignore the anticipated slights from the hip police running through your mind, and put your smelly-ass jeans in the tub. Make sure they’re fully submerged (this may require you to weigh them down), and leave them in there for about an hour, giving them a stir half way through if there’s dirt that needs to be loosened.
Step 3: Gently wring the jeans out and rinse them thoroughly with cold water to remove detergent residue. Then either roll them up in a dry towel that you don’t mind staining or hang them out to dry. (Note: Make sure you hang them in a place that has good air movement, as you don’t want your jeans to mildew. Also, take care to hang them somewhere that won’t be ruined by a steady flow of blue-stained water.) DO NOT tumble dry, as all that heat will undo your good work.
Step 4: Your jeans are both cleaner and slightly more faded. In other words, you’re okay to wear them in polite company, but because they’re lighter and bluer, you’re going to have to take another look at what you wear them with. That navy suit coat? Maybe, maybe not. The tweed blazer? Definitely.
This Saturday I’ll run my APC’s for another wash, I need to remove that pizza stain, snow slush and smell from them as soon as possible